The Journey Can Keep Growing Exciting
The Dead Tree
Many will see only a dead tree. I see a story. A repetitive cycle of amazing experiences.
On a hike today in the scenic southwest, I came across this scene and it resonated with me. A dead conifer set against an colorful array of eroding rock. This tree found life, extracted water, minerals and nourishment from the sun and the earth, grew, and in doing so provided shelter and sustenance to others. It added beauty to this wonderful landscape. It witnessed life pass around it for many years. It sowed others. It weathered snow, sleet, hail, and scorching heat. And then it was its time. This tree now will release what it has borrowed back to the earth and sky. And these building blocks will be the foundation for the cycle of new life.
Like this tree, I will release my building blocks back to the earth and sky. I have witnessed tremendous beauty along my journey, so different yet so much like this tree. I’ve had an opportunity to share, teach, nourish and fully experience the wonder of life. I am grateful for all of this. Who could have asked for more?
~ Carey Chisholm
Carey shooting a rapid on the Salmon River.
Carey
As the journey proceeds physical health declines. The transition from independent to dependency continues. In my case, (so far) it’s not adversely impacted my cognitive process (well, some may argue this point!). This permits a full opportunity to introspectively ponder each step along the journey. These have provided learning opportunities and more importantly an expansion of empathy (in my opinion the most important human attribute and critical leadership characteristic). I’ve had the opportunity to experience the life of the patient. I’ve undergone major surgery and the rehabilitation process from that. I’ve observed the nuances of the culture of the infusion room. I’ve had to reevaluate my goals and readjust them, setting new ones each time. Along the way I’ve repeatedly been forced out of my comfort zone, allowing more introspection and an expanded horizon. While I’m not excited about the decline in health, I am open to the opportunities accompanying each downward step along the way. Rather than perseverating about what I am losing, I prefer to focus on the rewards of exploring this uncharted territory. One never knows the enlightenment one can find along the way.
I like the juxtaposition of the kayak and the restored Blue Nose Schooner taken from our campsite in Cape Breton Highlands National Park, Nova Scotia. Each affords a unique perspective of the journey.
Nicole -
Attitude counts.
My patients who accept, remain curious and are open to things getting better are the happiest. Things getting better as you die? Yes, I said that. What if our attitude towards dying was that the lucky people get to do it. That dying is a reward of sorts for having completed this lifetime. How would that change how we look at the process? Would it give an additional level of excitement, like going on a secret trip where we don’t know the destination?
Many of my patients are surprised that when they enroll in hospice, life gets so much better. They put off the decision because they are afraid it means giving up on living but so often it is the opposite. Hospice means staying open to the excitement, continuing to do the things that make you the person you are while acknowledging that your physical health is changing. Creating a support system that allows for independence to change to dependence in a natural way. Focusing your time laser sharp on what you love to do, who you love to be with and not spending time with things and people you don’t enjoy. Like being on a hike to an unknown destination, attitude creates excitement and uncharted territory can inspire.
The day after Carey started needing oxygen (much gratitude to the pulmonologist who perfectly timed her consult!), I went to visit him at home. We sat inside with our N-95 masks on, calmly discussing what lay ahead. I watched the man who was once fearful of dependence navigate the 57 foot oxygen cord like he had always used it, at peace with where he was and continuing to look ahead to his final trip to Hawaii to visit his daughter, Tyler, who lives there. With medical equipment as support, hospice ready if needed and a plan for sun, waves and sushi surrounded by family and friends, Carey knows how to always keeping the journey exciting. As a rabid fan of Gonzaga University he said “My next milestone is staying alive to see the Bulldogs win the National Championship!”
“There is a road, no simple highway
Between the dawn and the dark of night
And if you go, no one may follow
That path is for your steps alone.
~ “Ripple” Jerry Garcia/Robert Hunter
Robin -
At the start of a journey, we often don’t know what lies ahead. What are the obstacles in the way? Who will join us? How will this trip evolve from what we thought it would be? Has my life turned out the way I thought it would? No. Would I change anything? No. Everything we’ve done, everywhere we’ve been, and everyone we’ve known has brought us to where we are today. How is my journey going to evolve after Carey’s death? I don’t know yet, but there are infinite possibilities. Carey’s approach to his death has taught me to find joy in each day and continue to find adventures in life.
“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I’ve ended up where I needed to be.” ~ Douglas Adams
Approaching changes in weather, Mt St Helens in the background, while climbing Mt Adams.